My Aphrodite

The sharp and fluffy

I wake abruptly from a dream that was startlingly reminiscent of Stardew Valley.

“Sir, sorry to wake you. I realize it’s a Saturday morning…” Beard glances at his watch “…and you’ve only been sleeping for eleven hours but I’m picking up some sort of a touch-based sensation that I thought you might want to be aware of. It’s neither a breeze nor a pillowcase sir, I know what those feel like.”

“Your trepidation is unwarranted my old, shaggy friend. Please continue.” I say calmly to my facial hair, Eyes still closed.

Beard isn’t the brightest crayon in the box, but since he lives in such close proximity to Brain, I don’t ignore him when he shares information with me. Unlike some of my other body parts, which I probably ignore too readily. I silently whisper an apology to Toes, before mentally returning to the conversation at hand.

Beard is frozen with fear. He just stares expectantly at me with a look of utter terror. “Wh… what’s wrong?” I squeak aloud.

“Thank you for understanding sir. I realize I’m just a bunch of wiry hair, but I know you trust the fear in my eyes. It’s just that, whatever it was that I felt, Ears are reporting that it’s also making a noise that’s kinda like when you blow through a straw into a glass of milk. This is something much bigger, fluffier and sharper that anything I have experienced so far.”

“Fluffier?”

“And sharper, sir.”

“SHARPER?” I say, now sharing Beard’s concern.

I nudge Eyes awake. Right Eye responds but Left Eye is still feeling crusty. Both slowly open to blearily see my cat, Aphrodite, sitting in front of me. She’s reaching again towards my face. Tenderly petting my beard one time with her kitty paw, she purrs and tries to gently wake me up so I can feed her.

Beard and I glance sideways at each other.

“See?” My hairy-godmother says in a told-you-so tone. “SEE?! Sharp and Fluffy” as he lowers his voice knowingly.

Eye rolls from both of us.